The exact quote was taken from the movie Case :” Coffee…No thanks! ” A very small quote …but very important one. Season 1. Episode 1.
Have you ever been at a party where the people on the couch facing you looked like they are all… on different planets? They are all inflicted with the disease – Equal Distance Placement Syndrome. Also known to normal people as E.D.P.S. Strangely enough, if one looks at the word “Disease” it basically means not at ease …which I believe is an important factor when viewing these human specimens. One needs to be extremely clinical when faced with this syndrome. All three participants when measured have subconsciously sat exactly 11 inches apart from each other. Please note also the placement of their feet. The two humans on the right side of the sketch have them placed exactly in front of their hips signifying general unrest. The third human near the door is leaning away from the other two. He is the only one who has grown a beard. We feel the hair on his face is extremely anti social. Notice how his eyebrows are the largest of the three couch inhabitants….This one abstract factor can establish a synopsis that any psychiatrist working on a thesis would rejoice in. Why social settings and or parties tend not to work. Years of thought can go into the basic question of “Why not?” Very important. Please notice after more surveillance that the woman in the middle has a somewhat vacant look in her eyes…we wondered if she was trying to communicate with her friends the futility of these two men. The man to her left reminds her of a ewe she called Paddington that she won six years in a row the first prize for Sheep at the Rochester County Fair. Fond memories but not ones that would make her heart beat irregularly. The other man reminds her of a past boyfriend Harold… that couldn’t say the word “cotton candy “… She remembered how he would tremble and break out in a sweat when she would bring up the subject. She was finding her thoughts to be ruminating roller coaster style between the two men. If we could have navigated her language center of her brain three words would have been shouted to the high heavens …This Party sucks!!!
Usually, with skill levels being addressed one can only access the idea that this party can still be saved from mediocrity. Games should be promptly brought out, rules read out-loud . Party participants should be surrounded with large bowls of Cheetos, Bugles and Chex Mex Mix. Skip the alcohol. Only drink black coffee. Just make sure no one pours it into the bowl of Cheetos somewhere in the night thinking it’s a good breakfast food item . We have noted data that these kinds of munchies bring the kid out of every stern, stoic adult with minutes! There’s reasoning behind the Cheetohs and Bugles . Soon before you know it guys will have them in their noses and ears…They also need to show everyone within their visual vicinity their orange tongues…With Bugles they go instantly on all the fingers ….Coffee to the thesis bound PhD student is an elixir. We have noted that high altitude coffee can ooze the stern social skills into laughter. While the mid to lower range coffees are known to reenergize the lethargic office workers into a mass of giggling, animated teenagers. Coffee loosens up the soul and opens it up to interconnections with other humans.
Please partake. Limber up folks…Have a cup of coffee.