No.89 A Zombie Wanabee…

The exact quote is : “He’s just getting a coffee- I offered to stand in for a few minutes.” The quote is from the movie series  of Commissario Brunetti Episode 7  called “Quietly in Their Sleep.” The author of all the books and movies is Donna Leon.

Really one should know that you can’t become a zombie in a quiet Monday morning kind of way where nothing ever happens -the sun is shining …the school bus is at the corner- off you go kiddies- kind of thing…NO…NO… It’s a mad dash through the street …zig -zagging…to the right…around that strange man  wearing an eye patch…to the left …a group of teenagers, carrying skateboards… oozing blood…It’s an innocent wave to your favorite neighbor Bob – today he seems oddly vacant in his hellos. It might be your heart throb who has  just entered the parking  ramp to give you a lusty hug only to feel a love nibble or is that a bite?….Oh hello …for a moment I thought it was Lucca.  No. Now that I think of it …that bite was different…sort of piercing!  OMG it’s a Ectoparasite! Noted in the lands of Minnesota as their state bird alias: the Mosquito. Drat! I’ve been bitten numerous times on one arm leaving me unprotected from the cloud of them hovering  above me.. News in yesterday’s Star and Tribune warned the population to be wary . Turns out their saliva is very close in compostion to the zombie’s saliva and their bites can cause irritability, rashes and diseases leading to partial death.  Lustily sucking out our blood with a vaccuum- hose like mechanism, they seem worse than any vampire on any late night movie. The mosquitos  are out on a 24 hour schedule to bite as many  Minnesotans as they can in one day. They live outside…they seem to never sleep. Ummm…could they be passing around the zombie virus ? The thought has left me exhausted with apprehension. I too, was bitten the other night…Pulling weeds..  Did you know that the father of Zombie movies just died in Toronto. His name was George Romeo and he was 77 years old.  He created a whole list of movies about zombies.  The classic cult movie -The Night of the Living Dead in 1968. Dawn of the Dead in 1979.  Day of the Dead in 1985. And Land of the Dead in 2005. Before 1968 we had big monster movies and super humans . Monsters like Godzilla and the swamp monster that would eat  alligators for breakfast. Also normal people that would lunge into a closet to do a quick change into a “super -personality” -save the world, stop the runaway truck kind of thing. So, after the first film “The Night of the Living Dead” – Zombies became the “in thing” and bell bottom jeans went out.…Just think how boring our lives would be without zombies. The guy doing the good deed in the sketch above looks a bit like an early stage of a zombie.  His skin is a little too gray for me. If the zombies could only remember that if they drank their designated  quota of coffee the deadly virus bite would be  struck down. It wouldn’t exist. We could require everyone to bathe in coffee to stop the ectoparasites from moving  viruses – from one person to the next. Soon the existing zombie and ectoparasites populations would dwindle to extinction.  Hooray…coffee has again saved the day…the world…and peace shall reign throughout the land- All because of a cup of coffee…Amazing!

Please note: Parts of this blog could be described as Fake News…please take the facts with a grain of salt  and always ask you mom if you are unsure about anything important.


Zombie Survival Guide…Book with all the answers.

Be a Zombie Ghost Bride Costume ….

Zombie Joe Dark Roast Ground Coffee.

Commissario Brunetti in Noble Radiance by Donna Leon.


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