No. 114 Murder for coffee…?

The exact quote is ” Do you know…I could murder a cup of coffee.” The quote comes from the LoveJoy series.

What a strange way to say “I desperately need a cup of coffee.”…Anyone that says they are going to murder a cup of coffee shouldn’t be drinking it. They should be banned from all coffee shops world wide and be allotted to say soy milk-straight-unsweetened. Period. I know the man is trying to look suave and debonair …leaning against his Porche…like a movie star. Even the way he is holding his body…it’s like he’s saying”please take the picture from this side of my face..it’s my best side.” So I looked up what it meant. The examples given will give you a good idea. 1) Digging out that tree in the backyard yesterday was murder to my back. 2) Walking up 6042 steps to the top of the tower was murder to my knees.  3) I’m starving…I could murder a curry.  Makes sense right? Still I feel like an injustice is taking place when it pertains to my beloved  coffee. .

 

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No.170 Cannabis & Coffee?

In past blogs I’ve talked about how sometimes I have these interesting, unique conversations because people around me know that I write this blog. Collecting Coffee becomes  a watershed for incoming  ideas..Being that I’m a movie buff…I’m always finding amazing quotes but I also I have had people advise me to watch one of their favorites movies for they know there is a hidden quote that will drive me crazy! People will also hint on new subjects. So the other day someone came up to me and  whispered into my ear …Did you know that if you smoke weed and drink coffee at the same time that your high is even higher? Being of the inquiring mind …I decided to check it out. What I learned is that it has to do with the chemical makeup of both. Coffee, we all know …wakes us up, starts the brain functioning. Some people even think it gives them energy but that really has to do with the sugar added. Coffee actually blocks the receptors in the brain from receiving a chemical compound called adenosine. This substance causes the brain to both relax and get sleepy. Whereas, Cannabis contains cannabinoids which are naturally produced in the brain…they “amplify their thoughts and imagination.” One point I will address is that in the articles there wasn’t any information anywhere about how cannabis dulls out chronic pain receptors or allows people to eat after taking chemo.( calms down the nausea symptoms) The articles I read talked about how the highs lasted longer if you drank a large amount of coffee.The more I researched on the subject the more I felt the opinions clashed.  I thought after a while, that  I should be talking to a chemist about what both drugs coffee and marijuana do to the body . 

No.169 Claustiphobic Coffee?

The exact quote is: ” Well I hope you’re not claustrophobic. …I don’t even like coffee.” This strange quote came from “Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency. These stories were written by Douglas Adams who also wrote Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

The way the speaker says I don’t even like coffee to a statement “Well I hope you’re not claustrophobic.” Leads me to think that this young man is a random thinker. I’m one of those too,..if you haven’t figured it out yet. I was on the phone long time ago with my oldest brothers wife Rita and we were just chatting away and out of the blue she said “You do that just like your brother..Mystified, I acted innocent. “What are you talking about? Rita, said “You jump from A to C to F to M in ideas…and before I can figure out what you just said you are off into another tangent…Of course I glibly talked my way out of the corner by saying “Oh that’s because we are both Gemini..but Rita wouldn’t accept my sound reasoning.  When another wife of another brother said it to me I had the Ah Ha moment! I now understood why sometimes I drive my kid crazy. Her thoughts are more organized in the way they connect to the world, We can be talking about one thing and then my mind is out in left field. I sometimes think this thought pattern as the curse. And sometimes I think about Popeye the Sailor Man. He always said in his cartoons I am what I am.   Then I look at this young man in a cell like room seemingly still calm…and I’m glad he never picked up the habit of drinking coffee. When I drink it my thoughts tumble into somersaults and triple full-out turn and twist  jumps. My heart leaps not jumps…it runs not walks…Strangely enough, when I googled these two words together it came up more as tiny little hole in the wall coffee shops that made people feel claustrophobic while drinking their coffee. 

 

No.168 Coffee Collar ?

The exact quote is: ” I’ll give you  three cents for every coffee collar used.”  This quote was gleaned from the movie “Made of Honor” 

The man on top of the horse is in a dire situation. He’s begging for the usage of the horse so he can ride with much haste to save his BBF from the wrong man. Tom’s  BBF is Hannah and she is about to marry a Scottish Lord. A Scottish Lord whose family also makes  Highland Malt Whiskey. Colin Mcdreamy… is tall, handsome, romantic, can sing, can throw a log across a football field  and  is rich .  He also saved Hannah from sure death from the sheep zombies attacking her car one day . The kind of guy any woman in her right mind would want to marry. He also wants a brood of children to fill his castle with. Where as Tom  is a man who’s roving eye that has a perpetual twitch from over use. Women flow like a bubbling stream from his bedroom . He’s also rich. In the story he was the entrepreneur that invented the Coffee Collar.  For ten years in the states,  these two buddies did everything together. Everyone thought they would someday get married . Unfortunately, for all their friends the date was never set. Wedding bells were alas never heard in their vicinity.  Why did it take so long for Tom to wake up and smell the coffee? Only when someone else’s deep voice started to murmur sweet Scottish words into her ears  did the bells and whistles start singing in Tom’s ears?

And, don’t think you are out of the hot water either Hannah… Really, this is your mother  speaking…This so called “catalyst” could it  not have been started earlier? There is a psychosis connected to grand childless  agony that I personally have caught . The endless nights of weeping …You could have already had at least five grandchildren by now…See these gray hairs? Each strand of gray hair has a personal  connection with ignoring the pain of not having my own grandchildren. If only, you two had married as I prophesied at least 10 years ago….

Like all good stories there is an ending. But I alas, I am a person of strong moral character  that can not…will not… allow the uninitiated the privilege of knowing if he fell off the horse, was dragged for 10 miles… ended up with a wooden peg leg…or got to the church on time to thwart true love in the making…only time will tell.

No.167 For only $18,200.00 ….

Today’s hefty quote is but one word. “Coffee.”  I extracted this amazing quote from Wallander . Season 3. Episode 1 ” An Event in Autumn.”  These stories were written by Henning Mankell.

I thought this  title was appropriate to this episode. Kurt Wallander after a 30 year career in solving murders with the Swedish Police is becoming disenchanted with his life. Autumn becomes a metaphor for his career as a police detective. A life that is filled to the brim with deaths, suicides and even divorces. Every one knows because of the erratic  hours, policemen work that divorce can be a prophecy for a once good marriage. In a calm moment, Kurt has found his haven. A house out in the countryside. It fills him momentarily with peace of mind. It lulls him quietly into la la land until he is jarred awake with skeletal remains in his own garden. The earth is upheaving a small burial ground surrounded with Black currant bushes. Which I thought was strange. Black currants are described as a “powerhouse of nutrition.” It’s known to strengthen the immune system, soothe sore throats, and even ease flu symptoms. Unfortunately, for both his current cases it can’t help with unwanted pregnancies.

In one of the reviews, the reviewer joked it was very bad Feng Shui to find skeletal remains in the back right corner of the garden. This  corner is specifically for relationships. To change the bad vibes in ones garden especially if it is in the relationship corner one must include red, purple or gold flowers. A small cafe table with two chairs would be nice for both conversation and companionship. Don’t forget to bring out candles this in turn will add to the romantic mood. Make sure the pathway leading up to this area is cursive in nature. Meaning it has a meandering quality. This will again bring good chi to this space. If this corner is too dark, windy or cold..One can build a fully enclosed gazebo with a romantic fireplace, and a complete  kitchen. Don’t forget to buy a fully automated  elegant Elecktra  Belle Epoque Coffee Maker available at $18,200.00. It will bring in the enticing  smell of newly roasted and brewed coffee  into your new love nest.   Make sure to also include a cozy loft in your architectural drawings. It will become your home away from home only 20 steps from your own  happy  abode. Being a highly educated Feng Shui consultant I believe these gazebos may bring upon the nation and world a revolutionary way to rediscover and save marriages. You can contact me at……

No.166 A Verbal Challenge…

The exact quote : ” Can I get a grande drip and a decafe grande nonfat, extra hot, stirred , no foam caramel macchiato,…with whipped cream and extra caramel.”  The movie that I extracted this quote from is ” Made of Honor.”

I found myself on Friday afternoon walking across the University of Minnesota’s campus to almost the middle area to a Starbucks to meet a new student. It was a true test of my character, for the temperature had dipped dangerously to 19 degrees.  I of course, had forgotten my hat and gloves in my car. So when I found  myself in Starbucks amongst a whole crowd of young people all talking and laughing, I felt pure relief…I was still alive. Crystal and I connected with a Hi and quickly stood in line to order. While waiting, I found out this was her second time in a Starbucks and her first time she ordered a Unicorn.  (Blog no. 12)  I ordered a plain old Mocha and Crystal ordered a super sweet strawberry concoction. There were probably 30 people in line, in back of me. I know for sure if I had the gall to order this  order of  “a grande drip and a decafe grande nonfat, extra hot , stirred , no foam, caramel macchiato…with whipped cream and extra caramel…” That all that good-natured chatter would have stopped …that all the heads would have swiveled around to see who ordered this order. It’s like it’s almost politically incorrect to go past three or four  descriptions . Though I’ve heard how management always want the barista faces to be in the smile mode. It must be tough at times to keep a straight face when hearing some people order their extravagant verbal orders. They must learn to never flinch in front of a mirror before they are given the job. Just one more reason why they should be paid $15 dollars an hour. In my drawing above my barista would probably get a pink slip because her eyes are telling another story. We quickly sat down and started to chat. We connected in a program called Tandem-Plus. It’s part of the College of Liberal Arts Language Center. I am, what they would say a “native speaker.”  Where as Crystal is from China . So our plan is to connect weekly to practice Chinese and English, by chatting. People have asked me why I do this…and I always say it in two ways. If I’m joking around…I say I’m collecting Karma points… If I’m in a serious mode I say ..It expands my little life ..it makes me see her life through my eyes..and vice versa. I always think in the future if someone blackens all Americans in one color there might be a voice saying …That can’t be true..I know this one lady in Minnesota…

No. 165 mmmmouse!

Tell-tale droppings

left in their wake.

Chewed up wrappers…

Chewed up gum…

Chewed up lost sweets

Cookies and crumbs.

 

Some think they are cute.

In China they are called

Laoshu…

In Italy they are Topo…

But to me they are

a scream…

a scramble…

a back up out of the room…

manuever…

climb up on a chair

Scare…

I am known to be

strong and independent.

But a scream will eject  &

fill the halls with echoes.

If one decides…

to move in…

 

No. 164 Four Cups of Coffee…

The exact quote is: ” You had four cups of coffee….”This quote was taken from a Hindi comedy called “Wake Up Sid.”  Directed by Ayan Mukerji. Produced by Karen Johar Dharma Productions. Released in 2009.

I love watching romantic movies. If you have a yen for them this is a good one .  The storyline is of a young man (Sid) that has been coddled all his life. Instead of trying to improve himself (pass his exams, get a job…) he questions at one point in the movie why these things even  matter …he’s going to spend his Dad’s money. It becomes an aimless kind of life when all his college friends are moving forward and he seems stuck. Aisha becomes a friend that starts him questioning all the things in life he’s taken for granted. How to make his own money, to be independent of his parents, to learn to cook, to learn ultimately how to take care of himself. These experiences allow him to grow up. Aisha in turn becomes the voice of reason. As roommates and friends they grow into each other accidentally. It’s a sweet movie and the music in the background is beautiful. We learn that Sid gives Aisha the gift of having fun..while she believes in him which allows Sid to really go out in the world of Mumbai, get a job as a photographer and start really living life. In turn they both get to taste the essence of love. 

No.163 UMMM…Delicious…

Tasting Minnesota

in a Fall brine…

Caramel apples

over time.

Brats cooking

over coals…

Smoke warming

my rosy tipped nose…

Mittens, scarves and wollen hats..

knitting furiously…

Children covered.

Snowflakes fledglings

appear…

momentarily…

Corn harvested…

Pumpkins carved.

Hour set forward.

Flowers freeze…

Lighted multi-colored

Christmas bulbs appear..

Bears hibernate

and geese fly…

Chilly winter morning!

Then quietly…

Mice move in…

I love looking at cookbooks. Yesterday, I found a cookbook in the library called “Tasting Minnesota. Favorite Recipes from the Land of 10,000 Lakes.” By Betsy Nelsen. It was published in 2016. The photography in it  is beautiful.

One night, as I was ruminating on a poem that was rumbling through my head . I looked up and reread the spine of the book and saw the words…Tasting Minnesota …with those two words all the other words started to march in a straight line.

Surprisingly, there is only one recipe in the cookbook that included coffee. “Whiskey Honey Cake with Whiskey Cream filling. Depiction above. Betsy Nelsen also has a website with lots of recipes http://www.that foodgirl.com Check it out.

No.162 Wish List…

The movie where this visionary quote came from is “My Fake Fiance.” When I describe it as visionary I actually mean that the quote is  in her list. She’s writing it as we speak. The list seems quite long, it even includes a bed. So for me, the quote is connected to that little voice in our heads that always seems to be there. Sometimes the voice helps us get things done. I have that voice …in the morning on days I don’t work the voice becomes louder and it questions me…What are you going to accomplish today?  Luckily, my inner voice never cross examines me. For example …you wasted two hours watching safari animals bite each other could you have instead cleaned your room?  What about that letter you keep putting off? Did you really study your Chinese? Get my drift?  Being that it’s already November, her little voice is getting louder and more frantic…Do you know that in 15 days, 7 hours, 58 minutes, and 55 seconds till Black Friday happens? In the U.S.A. This year it takes place on November 24th, Thanksgiving Day.   So this young woman above in the sketch is making her list …checking it twice. If  Santa Claus knew what scam she and her new fake beau were going to soon pull over everyone they loved,  I know he wouldn’t have been very happy.  Instead of  the coffee maker she really wants she’ll have a pile of coal to deal with. She might even be black listed for gifts for a  couple of years …because Santa doesn’t like scams. She’s been dealt some rotten cards of fate…in that all her things including her furniture was stolen on moving day.   So maybe Black Friday could be her alternative way to get everything she wants dirt cheap, without having to marry someone she just met, doesn’t like or love. An alternative to a bad marriage could be the Mall of America and Black Friday. Makes total sense to me. Buy some comfortable walking shoes…Here’s some fun facts: 1) You can fit 9 Yankee stadiums in the Mall of America or 43 Boeing 747’s . 2) MOA is 5.6 million square feet. 3) 520 stores! 4) One floor is 1.15 miles. It’s almost scary. One of my students went to the Mall of America for Black Friday about four years ago. 12 hours later he walked back into our house looking like a zombie! Michael kept repeating the same words over and over.. dressing….rooms…sleep…walk..walk…We didn’t hear a peep from his room for almost a day after he returned. He said he’d never do it again, but the next year he flew in from New York to do it one more time! I wondered why he would forgo all of last years excruciating memories? Then he told me,  his mom had sent a list of things she really wanted. 

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